The Year That Wasn’t-What Could Have Happened For Good But Didn’t

Since I am a teenager, I will only talk about teenagers in this case. Also, I’m from India. Since, India is a third world country. Here, we’ll be dealing with problems that teenagers from the third world face.

  • It’s about time our education system got its shit back together. And, that is, whether or not to detain students. If you’re from the US, let me tell you that here kids aren’t given probation or anything. I think CBSE (Google it) is hoodwinking us. They said they’re making things easier for us. But, every time they change something, teachers become more and more vicious.
  • Teachers get their shit back together. Teachers do everything at the last moment. And, they can be so disorganized. This only makes them look barbaric. I’m sorry. extra classes in this windy winter sucks. Thank goodness, we don’t have blizzards here. Teachers here don’t say “all the best” before the exams. Instead, they say “You can’t do it” or “it’s gonna be very difficult”. Basically, they discourage us, instead of encouraging us.
  • Teenagers are also disorganized. Pulling all-nighters and cramming stuff only ruins your schedule. Get organized. I get it. Teachers can be disorganized, vicious and barbaric (that’s so Indian!). But, you can manage your time.
  • School sucks.
  • Life sucks.
  • Relationships suck.
  • 70 per cent of Indian teenagers commit suicide because exam pressure.

 

Now, let’s talk about what could have happened for good.

  • CBSE gave up CCE (Google it) system. Banned teachers from giving students stupid assignments instead. Schools now have a probation period for kids who don’t do well.
  • Teachers don’t spread negativity anymore, and are more organized.
  • Teenagers are more organized, and don’t fall into depression.
  • School is fun.
  • Life is awesome.
  • Relationships….. I dunno.
  • Indian parents and teachers start taking depression seriously, because kids who commit suicide, don’t die because they killed themselves, but because you didn’t listen to them. So, you can do the math hereon.

 

2015 could have been game-changer for many of the third world teenagers. If you’re an Indian teenager reading this, you need to give yourself a lot credit for all the third world problems you faced, and have been facing.

 

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Because Peeing is a Crime

So, yesterday, I was in a terrible mood. I felt irritable and angry. Probably, because I was suffering from PMS.
It was the third period, which was Value Education class, wherein your teacher talks sense or throws the “Moral Bomb” at us and make us feel like we’re impure. I had been controlling my urge to pee. I tried to ask my teacher, but she told me to get in. That was in the beginning. Then, she started talking about time management, and things that are important and urgent. And, that’s when, I felt like I was about to have a bladder explosion. So, I went and asked her permission to go to the washroom. I thought she’ll understand, since she also teaches us Biology. But, she said no! I had to go at ANY COST, so I said that it was urgent and that I was about to have a bladder explosion. Guess what? She told me to go and not come back for the rest of the period. I went, because I had to pee. When I was done, I tried to go back to class, but she kicked me out again told me reflect on what I heard.
I stood there alone in the corridor. I started crying, because I was so done with everything. I went to the lavatory again, locked myself in a cozy cubicle and cried to my heart’s content. I got kicked out, because I wanted to pee. Plus, those kids looked at me as if I killed someone. Nobody stood up for me, because they feared her. So, I knew I had to stand up for myself.
I remember telling that teacher that I respected her, but never feared her, when she asked if I was scared of her. It’s like she holds a grudge against me. I haven’t created problems, so why should I fear anyone?

The teachers here in my school, like to show off their power. They want to suppress everyone. They want the students to fear them and agree with all the bullshit they say. I’m not one of them, and I’m not going to change.

Also, everyone there in class get some pleasure in messing with me. It’s like their hobby.

Today, we had a half-working day at school. I didn’t go. Today’s a Saturday. I deserve a nice weekend. Plus, we had a cleanliness drive. The teachers would order the students to clean up their offices, and we would slave for them, because that’s what happens in Indian schools. I didn’t want to clean that woman’s desk.
That teacher and those students had the audacity to mess with the Ironically Misunderstood.

The Time I Would Like To Trend (Will this blog help me?)

I’ve got this new desire. I want to trend. I want to be famous. I don’t want to be famous for being famous. But, I want to go viral, because of this blog, or a very song cover that I might have made.

Will the readers of this blog post help me in doing so?

If I become famous, what will I get? Money? Recognition? More respect?

I want to trend like Gu Hye-sun trended as an ulzzang on the internet. I don’t want to trend as an ulzzang, but I want to trend because of this blog or my fanfiction, because, hell yeah, I take writing pretty seriously, whether it’s angst or humor.

I’m a teenager. I can’t help it. I want to go viral, because I’m awesome. I want to become rich. I want the Korean entertainment to recognize me as the next big comedian or idol in Korea, although I’m Indian. I want to be the first Indian to do so. I want to be trailblazer.

I want to go to Germany or Japan. I’m tired of trending amongst my fellow German students (I was probably the most annoying teacher’s pet, but, hell yeah, she was a great teacher).

What’s stopping me from getting what I want? CBSE (Central Board of Secondary Education, if you don’t know) exams, family, and that weird Hindi word for all sorts of emotional trap, and all sorts of bullshit. If I trend, my school will have a better reputation. Our family income will increase. My parents will be so proud.

I’m awesome.

Anyways, I know this whole post is a joke. Like a big joke. But, I really got this desire. I’m like that every teenager who wants to trend. The only difference is that, I want to trend through fair means. I have good intentions. I want to make people laugh. I feel happy when my friends and parents laugh at my jokes. It’s the best feeling. I want to start a YouTube channel with my best friend.

If I trend today or tomorrow through this blog, it’ll be great. I started this blog last year around June, because I was angry. I’ve come a long way. I don’t have million readers, but it’s fine, since I met people who agree with me, who accept me as I am.

 

Today, I’m a 15-year-old teenager gearing up for three months of workload and studies and school bullshit.

In the end, I would like to thank those people who will read this post. I want to trend, because I’m unique, and you’ll definitely won’t find any other Ironically Misunderstood.

P.S- How many times did I use the phrase “I want”?

Sorry, I don’t engage in bullshit

There was a teenage girl, who used to sit at her desk with a pile of books and write down her ideas in a notebook. She used to stay lost in her thoughts. She was very sensitive and reserved. She didn’t really engage in conversation.

That’s the kind of image people have of me. That’s not the real me. People who have read my posts know this. My mom, the career counselor who visited my school, two of my best cousins and my whole clique know this. Unfortunately, my mom is the only family member who knows ‘the real’ me. My family (gonna get bashed on Facebook by relatives, again!)is supposed to know me like at the back of their hands. But, sadly, they know nothing about me. They only know my name, when and where I was born and that I’m fat (they say chubby…but come on, for once, be honest. I know I’m fat and cooler than that anorexic cousin who never had a growth spurt).
Okay, I do study and read. But, what’s wrong being clever? Plus, clever people are extroverted.
They say I don’t engage in conversation with them. Sorry, I talk only necessary things. I don’t talk bullshit or engage in bullshit conversations. I love to talk sense. And, I don’t take bullshit.

So, I’m not reserved. You, just have to start conversations that make sense.

It’s time, you wake up. Then, you say I’m immature when I share my opinion. You bash me on Facebook. Sorry, I ain’t getting scared. I stand strongly by my opinion, no matter how unpopular amongst you it is.

Thinking Out Loud (not the Ed Sheeran song)

Looks can be deceptive. In my case, it’s true. People say that my face yells how bored and uninterested I am in life and that I just prefer to blend in he background. They think I am a person who doesn’t express her opinion out loud. I am a person who stands out. They take my kindness for weakness.
I remember a relative asking me, “You speak up?” Sadly, it was a relative whom I had been visiting since I was a single cell. This proves that she doesn’t have a clue about me. Do I care? No. One of my previous blog posts, I expressed most of my unpopular opinions and it was shared on Facebook. As usual, I got into trouble because of that. I was deemed as ‘hateful’ by most who say that they love me. Now they know how blunt I can be. This is going to be on Facebook and it’s going to happen again. If being blunt is hateful, I am hateful.

All-Girls Schools, What An Irony!

So, yesterday, I happen to eat my lunch before recess. It was the fourth period and I was totally oblivious. I’m not one of the gluttons who eat their lunch secretly before class. But I, mistakenly, thought it was recess because a lot was going on in school. We were celebrating the Feast of Our Lady Of Carmel(I study in an all-girl Catholic School). I had got the typical Indian vegetable and chapatti and was eating it while keeping my lunch under the desk. I kept stuffing every morsel in my mouth because I love beans! In fact, I even walked out of the class with my lunch. Thank goodness, it was a free period or I would have a reputation of a glutton. I always play safe, you see. I have reputation of a sincere and quiet student but in reality, I am sort of the opposite. So, I went back to my class and started stuffing my mouth with my lunch. Suddenly, two of the my most annoying classmates who used to be my friends before but I didn’t like there “layer” or whatever because they kept gossiping about boys, forcing me to get into a relationship and complaining about homosexual people. I hate homophobic and racist people! I mean, come on, everyone’s an individual! It was over between them and me but they just keep picking on me! This time they tried to see what I’m eating. Like, seriously, why do you give a damn about what I eat! Now, these devious girls also have a puppet in their hands. This puppet, is has allegedly been stalking me these days. My friends think she has a crush on me because one of my friends asked her why she has been stalking me and she blushed like hell! She has been acting like a sasaeng fan.

I seriously don’t understand my own schoolmates! A homophobic person CANNOT survive in my school. I’m not saying that we are all lesbians or something but it is not a great idea to let teenage girls with raging hormones to study together. When they love each other,they do it greatly. When they fight, they fight like wild cats and pull each other’s hair and whatnot! I mean, last year, when my “ex-friends” picked a fight with me, I fought with words and they kept threatening me saying that they will beat me up and blah blah…And I was like, “Yes, bring it on! I will scream so loud, you’ll get deaf!” Thereafter, they keep picking on me. I guess, they  just can’t forget about me! I’m telling you. I joined this school about four years ago in fifth grade. People in my school cab started boycotting me. Then, I graduated to middle school, that whole year boycotted me and I was like, “Yeah, boycott me! I don’t want to live here, anyway!” Last year was indeed a year of good change. I realized who my real friends are and learnt that you should never be best friends with a teenage girl who’s obsessed with boys. I mean, what so awesome about Indian boys, majority of them are like cross-bred scums.

I cannot stay in a place like Delhi, where people expect corrupting power and fake respect. I rant along with Japanese rock bands like SCANDAL, FLUMPOOL, STEREOPONY and One OK Rock. It makes me feel light.

Back to school! In the second and third floor lavatory of the high school building, there is a single extra-small mirror. Around that mirror, I see about ten girls trying to check themselves. LOL! Who are they trying to impress? Their bitchy girlfriends? I might not fit in this school but everything is so damn humorous! Then, during inter-school sport matches with boys. My classmates go extremely lunatic and act like sasaeng fans. Then, again Indian boys going through puberty are cross-bred scums!

I remember a very funny incident. I had write my final exams in seventh grade and I was sitting with eighth grade students (a complicated seating arrangement to stop students from cheating). Right behind me was sitting my awesome friend. Her bench-mate was an eighth grader and she kept ranting to God to help her and screaming, “Jai Mata Di!” loudly. My bench-mate and I were getting irritated. So, I looked at her and said, “HAVE YOU GONE MAD?”

She said, “Excuse me! I’m a senior here!”

I was like, “Yeah, I can see that, granny! Stop ranting during the exam!”

Since then, she tried her best to bully me throughout the year but I somehow, outdid her. I forgot to mention, she was the head-girl’s younger sister. Senior students should stop ragging junior students. Remember, junior students are much smarter than us. By ragging them, we are just wasting are time. It’s better to love them and befriend them before they fight back and piss you off.

 

Despite of all these complaints, I have met some interesting people and that’s what makes me feel that I love school!

How I Discovered Observational Humour

So, long time no see!!!!

On Thursday, 26 June (a very important date!!!), I went to watch a movie with my parents. It was a Bollywood movie. FYI, I don’t think I can ever learn anything from Bollywood.

Now there is this quality about me….I can take any reason to laugh in the most saddest moments I come across.

So, I was watching the movie. FYI, the movie was titled “Holiday: A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” What I found ironical was the title of the movie-the title is “Holiday” and the sub-title is “A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” LOL!!! So I won’t mention the “Lead” Actress’ name because then it would be like bashing. DUH!! This what I felt about the movie!! This actress has done like 10 movies  since her debut in 2010. Now, does that make sense? She thinks she is the lead but she gets a supporting role. I mean, the lead guy is getting beaten up and she’s just looking at the spiteful sight and nodding her head saying “I know, you’re getting beaten up, mate.” LOL! According to me, you’re not a SUCCESSFUL actress or actor unless you get a good role where you can camouflage yourself. I’m not an anti-fan , I’m just straightforward critic. I don’t give a damn how you take what I write in my blogs. This is my rant blog. I have the solemn right to rant!!!

BTW, back to the movie. I don’t understand why the songs are just pop out from a Bollywood movie like some hideous pimple! The songs were good but they just kept popping and wasting everyone’s time. Th pre-climax fight scene was very serious and damn long but something made me gag. I just laughed it off! My father stared at me in astonishment. He must have thought his daughter has turned into a retard. I get it now…..it was the overly CG-fied fake action. The actor fixed his fractured bones in a jiffy!!! If I were there I wouldn’t have broken any of my bones… I’m double jointed, after all!!!! LOL! I kept laughing till the actual climax of the movie! My Father kept thinking what the hell I was laughing about. Then, I told him that I “observed” what I saw.

I’m telling you, make me watch any sad movie, I’ll still laugh!

I think I am a retard!!!