I don’t know how to explain my childhood. Obviously, I’m still experiencing it. However, I’m on the cusp of adulthood, seeing that I’m a teenager. I never went to that emo/rebel phase like most teenagers do. I’m not a rebel. Asking for something I deserve is not rebellion. It’s every individual’s basic right.

I probably wouldn’t want to return to my childhood. I had more angst as a child, than as a teenager.  I feel more emotionally stable now. After I graduate from school, I don’t want to go back. I wouldn’t want to return to a phase of my life, wherein I was compared with every other cousin and extra kids, who claimed to be related to me. I wouldn’t want to return to phase, wherein nobody gave a shit about me. Today, they followed me to this website, thinking of this as some kind of showdown. I don’t need sympathy.  I want someone to listen to me. I don’t need advice.

I’m not looking forward to adulthood really.  I’m looking forward to college. Two grades more, and I’ll be done.

I’m not determined to stay unhappy, but, I’m just disappointed that I’m surrounded by so many unnecessary people.  People who claim to be related to me, but,  I feel so lonely.  Is it wrong to stand out? Is it wrong not to be a puppet? I want them to answer these questions right here, if they have the guts. Why do I have to be treated unequally? Well, hell yeah, they don’t deserve my attention.

I’m not writing humor right now. Life is not a piece of cake.  Life is a major sorcery (okay, now I sound emo).


Witness Protection


I’m scared of heights, because I have a heart condition, and I get serious motion sickness. Not that I throw up, but, I start shivering a lot, my vision blurs, and my chest aches. So, I won’t talk about bungee jumping or roller coasters here.

Public speaking is something that I’m used to. But, I go through stage anxiety before I have to sing onstage. That time, I prefer to be surrounded by strangers, because, my friends have goofy expressions most of the time. Plus, I can grow my fanbase beyond just my friends.

A Shakespearean Tragedy

If you have read Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare,  you’d probably understand what I’m saying.

Caesar always refers to himself in third person. Like “Caesar hath done this or Caesar hath done that.” I don’t even think Caesar spoke like that in real life. Also, the characters speak like they’re reciting a poem. Nobody engages in a conversation like that in real life.

I get bowel problems every six months.  So, I’d be like, “Sera hath pooped on slippery grounds” or “The faeces of Sera lies on slippery grounds. ”

This makes no sense.

The Thing About Gay Marriages in India

Oh, frak! I haven’t updated since ages! I finally found out why Indians are not going to accept same-sex marriages:

  1. Frankly, we have a backward society. And, we’re pretty confused. I know this girl, who’s lesbian. She got into trouble in school, recently. Her parents were called. The principal asked her, “Are you into boys?”, as if having guy-friends (or boyfriends) is wrong. Now, if she answered, “No, I’m into girls. I’m a lesbian.”, she would be treated like she’s possessed by some evil spirit or something. It’s like, you can’t be lesbian or straight. And, then, later when she wants to be asexual, they’ll force her into marriage and tell her to have kids.
  2. Common sense is uncommon. They don’t realize that in a populated country like ours, where just breathing the air can get you pregnant (I’m just emphasizing on the fact that the population is ever-growing), same-sex marriage can decrease the population. But, no, we’re stuck in our own religious fanaticism.
  3. People are oblivious. I mean, they’re abso-bloomin’-lutely dumb. They don’t even know what the LGBTQ+ community is like. They are “educated illiterates.”
  4. Indians are judgmental. I get judged so hard for not waxing my legs, forget about being with boys.
  5. It’s about time the media portrays gay people with respect.
  6. They don’t realize gay people are awesome af.

I mean, I write boy x boy fanfiction. I have friends who friends who ship male idols together. This has taught me to respect the LGBTQ+ community.

Most elders say that there were roles assigned to men and women. Men are supposed to do well in the public space, and women in the domestic space. Being gay is unnatural according to them. I say, that’s bullshit. I don’t remember Jesus saying anything like that. He just told us to love and respect each other. This is something human beings created in the name of religion, and it’s absolutely unjust.

Kpop Fanfiction and Tumblr

I have been a member of Asianfanfics since 5 January, 2014. It took me year to register. There was some technical glitch in their site, you see. All that time I only read without logging in.
I was in eighth grade, when I got addicted to it. I realized that K-POP fanfiction is serious business. In fact, some people will offer money to get a fanfiction story written for them.
Plus, if you are too active, you earn “karma points”.
Some authors are now published. It’s quite cool and some stories can be turned into movies.
But, you have to be regular in updating your story. I update my story every Thursday. I jot down notes and type the story out. I don’t really like straight fanfiction. I write gay ones.
You know you’re really addicted to fanfiction, when you run out fanfiction to read under a particular tag.
I have two completed stories. One of them is a one-shot, and the other is chaptered. Plus, I have an on-going story.
I love writing K-POP fanfiction. You already know who your characters are. No matter how you write, your subscribers appreciate it. Also, it’s easy to understand. I have noticed that K-POP fanfiction authors are pretty dedicated to their fanfiction. It’s way more vast than just One Direction Fanfiction or 5SOS fanfiction.

Anyways, I just started my Tumblr blog. My username is eternalmaknaegirl. Tumblr is pretty cool. It’s infested with GIFs, but it’s awesome.

Is anyone on Tumblr? Please follow me.

We ain’t givin’ up our favourite meals


I have a lot of respect for talented comedian, Lee Guk-Joo. She’s so awesome. I mean, come on, isn’t she cute? She’s a talented variety performer in Korea and very much admired. At the same time, she’s lucky. She doesn’t have to deal with lewd comments about her body. People, especially the Korean audience, love her sense of humor, and her natural beauty. She’s not made fun of because of her appearance. Can’t we do the same in India?
Women, in general, regardless of nationality, talk about women’s appearance. It’s kind of unfortunate, when you’re a growing teenager, and hear some lewd comment from one of your aunts or any other female relative. They give weight loss advice when not needed (my relatives on Facebook, bring it on!). I’m sorry… I ain’t taking no advice I don’t need. I ain’t giving up my mutton and chicken curry.
It’s even more depressing, when the people I really love are judged.

Anyhoo, no one has the right to call me fat, except me and God.

Thinking Out Loud (not the Ed Sheeran song)

Looks can be deceptive. In my case, it’s true. People say that my face yells how bored and uninterested I am in life and that I just prefer to blend in he background. They think I am a person who doesn’t express her opinion out loud. I am a person who stands out. They take my kindness for weakness.
I remember a relative asking me, “You speak up?” Sadly, it was a relative whom I had been visiting since I was a single cell. This proves that she doesn’t have a clue about me. Do I care? No. One of my previous blog posts, I expressed most of my unpopular opinions and it was shared on Facebook. As usual, I got into trouble because of that. I was deemed as ‘hateful’ by most who say that they love me. Now they know how blunt I can be. This is going to be on Facebook and it’s going to happen again. If being blunt is hateful, I am hateful.

A Detailed Study of Ulzzangs, and Lookalikes

Last year, in December, my friend told me about how many ulzzangs (extremely good-looking people) can kpop lookalikes can be stalked online. She told me about a half- Japanese half-Filipino guy who looked like Kiseop of U-Kiss. I guess, he’s famous, so I can use his name-Koji Takahashi.

I discovered many things about lookalikes and how “extremely beautiful” they are. My friend liked Koji. The whole thing spread like a wildfire. I got to know his friend, and a few other lookalikes. Miji, the T-ARA Boram lookalike, made a major impression on me and we share the same birthday, despite that she is four years older than me. I even got to know more about a guy who turned out to be a lookalike of EXO’s Chen (not gonna say much about him). I became friends with their friends. All of them are Filipino. I can understand Tagalog so befriending them is easy. I became friends with a butt-load of dance cover artistes and ulzzangs. I sat in India but got all the kpop event news happening in Phillipines! XDD I learnt about kpop lookalikes and ulzzangs.

PH Lookalike of IU
PH Lookalike of IU

Now, let me move to the real deal- ulzzangs as a whole. I got to know about many Korean, Filipino and Malaysian ulzzangs through Tumblr and Facebook. They model and are good-looking and the create the waterworks and “selca/selfie-bombs” online because they know they are good-looking and are worth looking at. I remember chatting with Miji. I know she is pretty and totally admire her for her looks and did tell her that she’s pretty but she kept denying it and it kept me thinking, “You are an ulzzang. You were sent on the face of Earth to look awesome, young lady!!” These people, ulzzangs, know that they are pretty and worth falling for but they try to show how humble and modest they are and we know that they are lying. I accidentally sent a picture of mine. She said that I looked ulzzang. I was like, “This is the second biggest lie you told me, girl! I am not an ulzzang! Haven’t you seen me?! Are you blind?!” I don’t underestimate myself but I know how I look. If you have seen me in person, you know I’m not ulzzang.

Well, ulzzangs come in a variety of packages. I have met the sugarcoated ones, the awesome ones, the bipolar ones and the insecure ones. I even liked a kpop lookalike (Chen lookalike), he started dating another lookalike (WTH!). I was quite okay with it but I haven’t heard about the couple for a while.

People think it’s good to be a lookalike of a good-looking celebrity but I think it’s stupid because what’s so good about looking exactly like that person? You are treated like a clone. For example, a Kpopper might say, “I want to date this kpop lookalike because he looks like my bias.” Some of the lookalikes even imitate the idol they look like. I guess, one is ulzzang when he or she is original and doesn’t look identical to a famous and good-looking person.

In My Shoes: Teenage Life Is Not At All Complicated

This blog is not only a blog, its a chunk of random prose that I made from the top of my head. I know I keep ranting and ranting. This post is more of a sketch. I am writing this to give more insight to what it’s like to be in my shoes. I would first like to ask a few questions:are you free? Why are you reading this if you have some work? What’s so good about being in my shoes?

I am just a normal teenager, with a monkey brain. I’m just a retard! I have a lot of options. I am young, talented and ready to face the reality.

I was reading my school magazine’s teen section “Veering Vogues.” I came across my friend’s article. She had written about complex the teenage species is. I agree, teenage species is indeed complex. As a teenager, you have no idea who you are, what your true identity is or what you want from life. Long story short, the teenage species is more of a confused species. I have heard many of my schoolmates say how sorrowful or how complicated teenage life is. Ultimately, a question come to my mind-who can make a teenager’s life complicated? I mean, your life has just started! Many of my teenage friends on Facebook update their statuses as “I want to kill myself!” or “To hell with life!” They say they’re regretting for what might have happened. At one point of my life, teenage life, indeed, is complicated with the kinds of comments or rants I heard from my schoolmates. I, finally, got an answer to my question- it’s primarily us who make our lives complicated. There might have been some sort of serious abuse that a teenager might have faced in life and might have her in complete alienation. But, when it comes to normal teenagers who haven’t faced situations like that, saying teenage life is complicated doesn’t count. Right now, I’m just writing about those teenagers who just think their life is complicated and don’t move their butts to come out of their shell. I once, remember, my Biology teacher saying that posting pics on Facebook is not always going to make big impression in your life because people just don’t give a damn about what you’re doing unless you’re some famous personality. Teenage girls just sympathize themselves and wear oh-what-a-wicked-world expression while talking about themselves. They get into multiple relationships and rant about what’s going on in their personal lives as if we care.

Peer pressure-something I don’t get affected by. The more you let peer pressure take over you, the more you get affected by it. The most common peer pressure in my school is to have boyfriends. With the quality of conversation girls in relationships have at school make me think that being single is much better. You can’t break up with yourself, can you? You have less responsibility and less emotional attachments. Getting into a relationships is just adding up responsibility. And then again, Indian boys are just cross-bred scums. That’s why I think shows like “The Secret Life Of An American Teenager” or “Awkward” are just crap.

Teenage confession Facebook pages-“confession” means “ranting” for overly emotional cowards. At a general assembly at school, our school principal said that she thought that our school confession page is useless. People who “confess” just sympathize with themselves and are just thinking that they’re being victimized all the time. That’s why “ranting” is better!

They way I see it, teenagers should stop “confessing” and thinking how wicked this world is. This world is wicked that’s the bitter reality! If you want to change it, better move your butt and stop sympathizing with yourself because that’s something cowards do.



All-Girls Schools, What An Irony!

So, yesterday, I happen to eat my lunch before recess. It was the fourth period and I was totally oblivious. I’m not one of the gluttons who eat their lunch secretly before class. But I, mistakenly, thought it was recess because a lot was going on in school. We were celebrating the Feast of Our Lady Of Carmel(I study in an all-girl Catholic School). I had got the typical Indian vegetable and chapatti and was eating it while keeping my lunch under the desk. I kept stuffing every morsel in my mouth because I love beans! In fact, I even walked out of the class with my lunch. Thank goodness, it was a free period or I would have a reputation of a glutton. I always play safe, you see. I have reputation of a sincere and quiet student but in reality, I am sort of the opposite. So, I went back to my class and started stuffing my mouth with my lunch. Suddenly, two of the my most annoying classmates who used to be my friends before but I didn’t like there “layer” or whatever because they kept gossiping about boys, forcing me to get into a relationship and complaining about homosexual people. I hate homophobic and racist people! I mean, come on, everyone’s an individual! It was over between them and me but they just keep picking on me! This time they tried to see what I’m eating. Like, seriously, why do you give a damn about what I eat! Now, these devious girls also have a puppet in their hands. This puppet, is has allegedly been stalking me these days. My friends think she has a crush on me because one of my friends asked her why she has been stalking me and she blushed like hell! She has been acting like a sasaeng fan.

I seriously don’t understand my own schoolmates! A homophobic person CANNOT survive in my school. I’m not saying that we are all lesbians or something but it is not a great idea to let teenage girls with raging hormones to study together. When they love each other,they do it greatly. When they fight, they fight like wild cats and pull each other’s hair and whatnot! I mean, last year, when my “ex-friends” picked a fight with me, I fought with words and they kept threatening me saying that they will beat me up and blah blah…And I was like, “Yes, bring it on! I will scream so loud, you’ll get deaf!” Thereafter, they keep picking on me. I guess, they  just can’t forget about me! I’m telling you. I joined this school about four years ago in fifth grade. People in my school cab started boycotting me. Then, I graduated to middle school, that whole year boycotted me and I was like, “Yeah, boycott me! I don’t want to live here, anyway!” Last year was indeed a year of good change. I realized who my real friends are and learnt that you should never be best friends with a teenage girl who’s obsessed with boys. I mean, what so awesome about Indian boys, majority of them are like cross-bred scums.

I cannot stay in a place like Delhi, where people expect corrupting power and fake respect. I rant along with Japanese rock bands like SCANDAL, FLUMPOOL, STEREOPONY and One OK Rock. It makes me feel light.

Back to school! In the second and third floor lavatory of the high school building, there is a single extra-small mirror. Around that mirror, I see about ten girls trying to check themselves. LOL! Who are they trying to impress? Their bitchy girlfriends? I might not fit in this school but everything is so damn humorous! Then, during inter-school sport matches with boys. My classmates go extremely lunatic and act like sasaeng fans. Then, again Indian boys going through puberty are cross-bred scums!

I remember a very funny incident. I had write my final exams in seventh grade and I was sitting with eighth grade students (a complicated seating arrangement to stop students from cheating). Right behind me was sitting my awesome friend. Her bench-mate was an eighth grader and she kept ranting to God to help her and screaming, “Jai Mata Di!” loudly. My bench-mate and I were getting irritated. So, I looked at her and said, “HAVE YOU GONE MAD?”

She said, “Excuse me! I’m a senior here!”

I was like, “Yeah, I can see that, granny! Stop ranting during the exam!”

Since then, she tried her best to bully me throughout the year but I somehow, outdid her. I forgot to mention, she was the head-girl’s younger sister. Senior students should stop ragging junior students. Remember, junior students are much smarter than us. By ragging them, we are just wasting are time. It’s better to love them and befriend them before they fight back and piss you off.


Despite of all these complaints, I have met some interesting people and that’s what makes me feel that I love school!