Aspects of a clichéd Korean Drama

Hey, are you scrolling down? Why? Because you don’t like Korean dramas? Well, I ain’t promoting any. When did I ever promote anyone but myself (I can be so narcissistic sometimes)? I’m gonna diss the way dramas are made. There are a few aspects clichéd dramas have, and these dramas are always overrated God-knows-why.

1.The Incompetent Leading Lady

In every clichéd drama, the leading lady is incompetent.  This is more prevalent in the case of teen dramas, where the girl is dumb and she’s like the biggest dork in class. If the leading lady is smart, she’s really, really studious. She’s like those clichéd nerds, who wear thick glasses, keep on studying at their desks, don’t socialize with other kids, and suck at sports. This girl is crazy about the hottie or let’s say Kingka of the school. She has very low self- esteem.

2. The Kingka

The most popular guy in school, a.k.a, the Kingka, is the most desirable guy. He’s cold and has a killer emo/rebel look. The girls love him, and the guys consider him to be the “real man”. He walks in with his gang, and has a facial expression, which says “I didn’t choose thug life, thug life chose me” or “could I be anymore stud?”. Now, this guy is bound to fall in love with the incompetent leading lady, who nobody notices in school. I really don’t understand this. Does she blend in with walls and the furniture in her class or what?

3. The Ugly Best Friend

The leading lady might be pretty and all, but her friend must be ugly or dorky. But, this friend is the most supportive.

4. The Nice Boy who gets ditched

There’s always this nice guy who treats the leading lady with respect.  He’s way better than the Kingka, because he treats her way better than him. But, I don’t know, why girls like bad guys. The leading lady always gets this guy’s heart broken.

5. Being a maid

The leading lady somehow forces herself into slavery for the Kingka, and it always the girl who’s the maid. The Kingka makes her do menial jobs for him. And, they fall in love as usual.

6. Mean Girls

These plastic, fake girls are always pestering the leading lady. The leader is dating the Kingka, and she doesn’t want him to date the leading lady.

Now, I don’t understand how people ship the main girl with the bad guy. I would want her to be with the nice guy, who gets ditched all the time. And why does your heart beat so fast, when the leading lady and the Kingka have a “moment”? It’s kind of ridiculous.

If I had to create my own drama, these would be the aspects.

1. The Overachieving Leading Lady

This girl would be good at everything.  She would be the president of the Student Council.  She would get good grades, have a sports cred, and maybe even, be a guitarist in the school band. She would have a killer personality. She would have high self- esteem and confidence. Guys would go head-over- heels for her, and girls would admire her. She would be the ideal Queenka.

2. The Nice Guy who falls for the Queenka

The nice guy falls in love with the Queenka, and they end up together!

3. The Hella Awesome Friend

She would be considered awesome and she’s as good as the leading lady.

4. Mean Boys

Why do girls always fight amongst themselves?  They don’t! The mean boys hate the leading lady. Her success hurts their ego. And one of the boys falls for her,  because hell yeah.

My drama would be a hit, I guess. It’s good to stand out.

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Writing Under The Influence (Happy Birthday, Donghae of Super Junior!)

So, today, I told my friend that I can never really have best friends. I left one in Dubai to shift to India and another left me last year because she “got sick of me.” Since, then I created a personal space for myself. I am myself’s best friend now. The way I see things might be disturbing, funny or sad to many but this who I am.

So, tomorrow is my birthday. I’m not excited or anything because nothing exciting has ever happened. I don’t have the spirit. On 16th October 2000, just another kid was born to increase India’s population and become a hideous pimple in her paternal family history who was saved by her maternal grandparents. Birthdays in my family are not actually for the Birthday Girl or Boy, it’s for the family members who come for every corner and nook of East Delhi. Sometimes, even the Birthday Girl doesn’t know who her parents are inviting. I get invited to the party and what I see is the East Delhi version of My Sweet Sixteen and it’s even more disturbing when I realize that my parents are also contributing to the crap. And then, I contrite when I return to my place trying to figure out why I went to the party. I don’t get these people, sometimes….I mean, all the time.

If I ever get shot on the street and the bullet goes right into my heart, blood will spray from my artery and then, my uncles, aunts and cousins will be like, “Wow! That’s cool! How do you do that?” and my grandparents will stare into space and say, “Is something going on over here?”. Then, they’ll call up their relatives from every corner and nook of East Delhi and Dhaka and say, “Hey, guys! Watch my granddaughter spray blood from her artery! What an exceptional talent!” My parents will be the only ones concerned and then, they’ll be like, “We’re done with this family!”

Anyway, I like setting my self apart (or “cutting off” in layman’s language). I hope I will be remembered as a hideous pimple in the butt of the family (“trailblazer” in sophisticated language) because then I’ll be really honored.

By the way, happy birthday to Donghae Oppa (idiot bias-wrecker!) of Super Junior!

All-Girls Schools, What An Irony!

So, yesterday, I happen to eat my lunch before recess. It was the fourth period and I was totally oblivious. I’m not one of the gluttons who eat their lunch secretly before class. But I, mistakenly, thought it was recess because a lot was going on in school. We were celebrating the Feast of Our Lady Of Carmel(I study in an all-girl Catholic School). I had got the typical Indian vegetable and chapatti and was eating it while keeping my lunch under the desk. I kept stuffing every morsel in my mouth because I love beans! In fact, I even walked out of the class with my lunch. Thank goodness, it was a free period or I would have a reputation of a glutton. I always play safe, you see. I have reputation of a sincere and quiet student but in reality, I am sort of the opposite. So, I went back to my class and started stuffing my mouth with my lunch. Suddenly, two of the my most annoying classmates who used to be my friends before but I didn’t like there “layer” or whatever because they kept gossiping about boys, forcing me to get into a relationship and complaining about homosexual people. I hate homophobic and racist people! I mean, come on, everyone’s an individual! It was over between them and me but they just keep picking on me! This time they tried to see what I’m eating. Like, seriously, why do you give a damn about what I eat! Now, these devious girls also have a puppet in their hands. This puppet, is has allegedly been stalking me these days. My friends think she has a crush on me because one of my friends asked her why she has been stalking me and she blushed like hell! She has been acting like a sasaeng fan.

I seriously don’t understand my own schoolmates! A homophobic person CANNOT survive in my school. I’m not saying that we are all lesbians or something but it is not a great idea to let teenage girls with raging hormones to study together. When they love each other,they do it greatly. When they fight, they fight like wild cats and pull each other’s hair and whatnot! I mean, last year, when my “ex-friends” picked a fight with me, I fought with words and they kept threatening me saying that they will beat me up and blah blah…And I was like, “Yes, bring it on! I will scream so loud, you’ll get deaf!” Thereafter, they keep picking on me. I guess, they  just can’t forget about me! I’m telling you. I joined this school about four years ago in fifth grade. People in my school cab started boycotting me. Then, I graduated to middle school, that whole year boycotted me and I was like, “Yeah, boycott me! I don’t want to live here, anyway!” Last year was indeed a year of good change. I realized who my real friends are and learnt that you should never be best friends with a teenage girl who’s obsessed with boys. I mean, what so awesome about Indian boys, majority of them are like cross-bred scums.

I cannot stay in a place like Delhi, where people expect corrupting power and fake respect. I rant along with Japanese rock bands like SCANDAL, FLUMPOOL, STEREOPONY and One OK Rock. It makes me feel light.

Back to school! In the second and third floor lavatory of the high school building, there is a single extra-small mirror. Around that mirror, I see about ten girls trying to check themselves. LOL! Who are they trying to impress? Their bitchy girlfriends? I might not fit in this school but everything is so damn humorous! Then, during inter-school sport matches with boys. My classmates go extremely lunatic and act like sasaeng fans. Then, again Indian boys going through puberty are cross-bred scums!

I remember a very funny incident. I had write my final exams in seventh grade and I was sitting with eighth grade students (a complicated seating arrangement to stop students from cheating). Right behind me was sitting my awesome friend. Her bench-mate was an eighth grader and she kept ranting to God to help her and screaming, “Jai Mata Di!” loudly. My bench-mate and I were getting irritated. So, I looked at her and said, “HAVE YOU GONE MAD?”

She said, “Excuse me! I’m a senior here!”

I was like, “Yeah, I can see that, granny! Stop ranting during the exam!”

Since then, she tried her best to bully me throughout the year but I somehow, outdid her. I forgot to mention, she was the head-girl’s younger sister. Senior students should stop ragging junior students. Remember, junior students are much smarter than us. By ragging them, we are just wasting are time. It’s better to love them and befriend them before they fight back and piss you off.

 

Despite of all these complaints, I have met some interesting people and that’s what makes me feel that I love school!

How I Discovered Observational Humour

So, long time no see!!!!

On Thursday, 26 June (a very important date!!!), I went to watch a movie with my parents. It was a Bollywood movie. FYI, I don’t think I can ever learn anything from Bollywood.

Now there is this quality about me….I can take any reason to laugh in the most saddest moments I come across.

So, I was watching the movie. FYI, the movie was titled “Holiday: A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” What I found ironical was the title of the movie-the title is “Holiday” and the sub-title is “A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” LOL!!! So I won’t mention the “Lead” Actress’ name because then it would be like bashing. DUH!! This what I felt about the movie!! This actress has done like 10 movies  since her debut in 2010. Now, does that make sense? She thinks she is the lead but she gets a supporting role. I mean, the lead guy is getting beaten up and she’s just looking at the spiteful sight and nodding her head saying “I know, you’re getting beaten up, mate.” LOL! According to me, you’re not a SUCCESSFUL actress or actor unless you get a good role where you can camouflage yourself. I’m not an anti-fan , I’m just straightforward critic. I don’t give a damn how you take what I write in my blogs. This is my rant blog. I have the solemn right to rant!!!

BTW, back to the movie. I don’t understand why the songs are just pop out from a Bollywood movie like some hideous pimple! The songs were good but they just kept popping and wasting everyone’s time. Th pre-climax fight scene was very serious and damn long but something made me gag. I just laughed it off! My father stared at me in astonishment. He must have thought his daughter has turned into a retard. I get it now…..it was the overly CG-fied fake action. The actor fixed his fractured bones in a jiffy!!! If I were there I wouldn’t have broken any of my bones… I’m double jointed, after all!!!! LOL! I kept laughing till the actual climax of the movie! My Father kept thinking what the hell I was laughing about. Then, I told him that I “observed” what I saw.

I’m telling you, make me watch any sad movie, I’ll still laugh!

I think I am a retard!!!