Roast Yourself Challenge

I watched a video, wherein Ryan Higa roasted himself. Today, I’m taking this opportunity to do that. I’m too narcissistic. I need this.

I’m such an angsty kid. Oh, and I’m so fat, like why? I’m so sarcastic, people don’t even take compliments from me. I hate to be given advice. I don’t appreciate anything, and I look like I’m giving up on life. I’m so realistic,  that it’s almost like pessimism.  For me, life is a major sorcery. I take rejections all the time. I believe that everything is about me. I’m a stuck-up kid. Oh, and I’m not some very pretty-looking person. My voice is so high-pitched and flat, that I sound like an eleven year old kid,  when I’m going to turn 16. I’m so narcissistic, as if I achieved something great in life.

Now, I challenge you to roast yourself, because we diss so many people everyday. We often forget how many flaws we have. Roasting yourself is as important as praising yourself. If you have superiority complex, you need this. Also, you must know where you stand.

I challenge the following people:
1.Nudge Wink Report
2.Shonessa
3.Abby Has Issues
4.The Annual

And those of you, who are reading,  join the party!

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Urban Legends

In a world, where people believe in all kinds of rumours and myths. Urban legends and conspiracy theories have always gone viral. Most urban legends are created out of a set of theories made up by really analytical people, who were part of some kind of cult, or maybe some person with a lot of free time in his hands.

Last night, my friends and I had been looking for Japanese urban legends, because they’re really popular. My friend talked about this website titled “Scary for Kids” (their punchline was “And for adults too”).

So, we read about this Face Slit Woman or Kuchisake Onna. She will ask you randomly on the street, if she’s pretty or not. Prior to that question, she takes of her mask, revealing her creepy slit mouth. It is slit from the sides. If you say ‘no’, you die (obviously). You can say that she looks normal,  because then that will confuse her, and she won’t haunt you. She also appears in Korea. I think, she’s spreading a moral message telling people not to be so judgemental. Also, South Korea is known as the plastic surgery capital of the world. That woman is a trailblazer.

Then, you have Tomino’s Hell poem. If you read it out aloud in Japanese, you die or worse, you go insane. It was a poem mentioned in this book titled “The Heart is a Rolling Stone”. You can read it in your mind. I really didn’t understand it. It was metaphorical. There is a YouTube video with this creepy picture and the audio. Listen to it, at your own risk. It is very scary.

Then, you have this poltergeist named The Bald Man or Ganbari Nyudo in Japanese. He’s a perverted old man who loves to pry at young girls in bathrooms and bedrooms.  If you say his name out aloud, his face will be stuck to your bathroom window, and drools a lot.

Then, you have the forbidden Cow Head story. I wouldn’t mention it here. It’s absolutely traumatic.

However,  the comments were hilarious. For the story of the Tripping Bathroom, a person had suggested to shuffle feet to avoid the tripping, and for the Bald Man, someone had written, and I quote this comedic genius:

MY KINDA MAN!

Then, there’s this urban legend, which isn’t Japanese, about a pale woman who applied a lot of tanning lotions and went for a lot tanning apointments to salon. Because of the excessive lotion and tanning, she had apparently cooked herself. 
I quote another comedic genius on the internet:

Roast organs! New dish!

The comments always kill the eerie atmosphere. However, you find people with crazy theories of their own. Also, Japan has the craziest, scariest urban legends, high suicide rates, suicide apartments, crazy perv cases, crazy obsessions, and haunted high schools. And so does Korea… Also, there are so many bathroom ghosts.

Witness Protection

(THIS IS TODAY’S DAILY POST WRITING PROMPT)

I’m scared of heights, because I have a heart condition, and I get serious motion sickness. Not that I throw up, but, I start shivering a lot, my vision blurs, and my chest aches. So, I won’t talk about bungee jumping or roller coasters here.

Public speaking is something that I’m used to. But, I go through stage anxiety before I have to sing onstage. That time, I prefer to be surrounded by strangers, because, my friends have goofy expressions most of the time. Plus, I can grow my fanbase beyond just my friends.

Can’t Stand Me

I can’t stand listening to my voice or watching my own video.
I record song covers (video and audio).
Whenever I watch my own videos, I feel like I have high levels to actually how unattractive I am. It sucks really. My voice is very high-pitched. I’m fifteen now, but I sound like I’m twelve.
I wanted to start video blogging this year, but I guess I should stick to writing, because my looks aren’t very appealing. Plus, I have no expressions on my face most of the time. My face is as inexpressive as a pumpkin. I don’t look approachable and sociable, but I am. I wanted to do standup comedy on YouTube. Perhaps I’m good with deadpan humor (at least that’s what people say).

Huh Gak, a Korean ballad singer, says, that he can’t stand listening to his own voice. But, that helps him to improve with every performance.

Can you stand listening to your own voice recording or watching your own video?

A Shakespearean Tragedy

If you have read Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare,  you’d probably understand what I’m saying.

Caesar always refers to himself in third person. Like “Caesar hath done this or Caesar hath done that.” I don’t even think Caesar spoke like that in real life. Also, the characters speak like they’re reciting a poem. Nobody engages in a conversation like that in real life.

I get bowel problems every six months.  So, I’d be like, “Sera hath pooped on slippery grounds” or “The faeces of Sera lies on slippery grounds. ”

This makes no sense.

The Best Thing Ever

So, I had been shortlisted for an international German seminar alongside 5 other top students. I had to prepare a speech in German on why I deserve to represent my country in that seminar. I worked hard, said my speech, snd gave my number to my teachers. I was happy that this task was over. I really wanted to go abroad, but I was doubtful about my selection.

By the seventh period, there was a rumour circulating around tenth grade that, my friend and I had been selected. We didn’t know ourselves that we were selected. So, we went to the “German Language Room” in the middle school floor. On our way, we met another candidate. She told us that we had been selected. We still didn’t believe her. Finally, we met our teacher. He said normally, “Congratulations, both of you are
going to Germany.” And the next thing we know, we were squealing in the middle of the hallway.

For a person suffering from extreme PMS, this was a grest news. I went totally mental. Now, I can trend in Berlin!

I would really like to thank my teachers, my friends (especially the one who will accompany me) and my parents for always supporting me.

The Ironically Misunderstood will rock Berlin!

Because Peeing is a Crime

So, yesterday, I was in a terrible mood. I felt irritable and angry. Probably, because I was suffering from PMS.
It was the third period, which was Value Education class, wherein your teacher talks sense or throws the “Moral Bomb” at us and make us feel like we’re impure. I had been controlling my urge to pee. I tried to ask my teacher, but she told me to get in. That was in the beginning. Then, she started talking about time management, and things that are important and urgent. And, that’s when, I felt like I was about to have a bladder explosion. So, I went and asked her permission to go to the washroom. I thought she’ll understand, since she also teaches us Biology. But, she said no! I had to go at ANY COST, so I said that it was urgent and that I was about to have a bladder explosion. Guess what? She told me to go and not come back for the rest of the period. I went, because I had to pee. When I was done, I tried to go back to class, but she kicked me out again told me reflect on what I heard.
I stood there alone in the corridor. I started crying, because I was so done with everything. I went to the lavatory again, locked myself in a cozy cubicle and cried to my heart’s content. I got kicked out, because I wanted to pee. Plus, those kids looked at me as if I killed someone. Nobody stood up for me, because they feared her. So, I knew I had to stand up for myself.
I remember telling that teacher that I respected her, but never feared her, when she asked if I was scared of her. It’s like she holds a grudge against me. I haven’t created problems, so why should I fear anyone?

The teachers here in my school, like to show off their power. They want to suppress everyone. They want the students to fear them and agree with all the bullshit they say. I’m not one of them, and I’m not going to change.

Also, everyone there in class get some pleasure in messing with me. It’s like their hobby.

Today, we had a half-working day at school. I didn’t go. Today’s a Saturday. I deserve a nice weekend. Plus, we had a cleanliness drive. The teachers would order the students to clean up their offices, and we would slave for them, because that’s what happens in Indian schools. I didn’t want to clean that woman’s desk.
That teacher and those students had the audacity to mess with the Ironically Misunderstood.

Zero Gravity

I’m writing this in a taxi which is going to Manali. It’s a famous hill station in India in case you don’t know. I’m on the way and as we go higher and higher, I experience zero gravity and am not able to hear things properly. The roads are scary and with each turn, I experience a flashback of events that have occurred in my life so far. From my window, I can see the brooks flowing on the foothills. The height is tremendous. Suddenly, I get a feeling of adventure and want to go on a steep and narrow road with no civilization visible….and I am. Oh…I see a small shack…there’s civilization! Mountain terrains can be bumper to bumper!