I don’t know how to explain my childhood. Obviously, I’m still experiencing it. However, I’m on the cusp of adulthood, seeing that I’m a teenager. I never went to that emo/rebel phase like most teenagers do. I’m not a rebel. Asking for something I deserve is not rebellion. It’s every individual’s basic right.

I probably wouldn’t want to return to my childhood. I had more angst as a child, than as a teenager.  I feel more emotionally stable now. After I graduate from school, I don’t want to go back. I wouldn’t want to return to a phase of my life, wherein I was compared with every other cousin and extra kids, who claimed to be related to me. I wouldn’t want to return to phase, wherein nobody gave a shit about me. Today, they followed me to this website, thinking of this as some kind of showdown. I don’t need sympathy.  I want someone to listen to me. I don’t need advice.

I’m not looking forward to adulthood really.  I’m looking forward to college. Two grades more, and I’ll be done.

I’m not determined to stay unhappy, but, I’m just disappointed that I’m surrounded by so many unnecessary people.  People who claim to be related to me, but,  I feel so lonely.  Is it wrong to stand out? Is it wrong not to be a puppet? I want them to answer these questions right here, if they have the guts. Why do I have to be treated unequally? Well, hell yeah, they don’t deserve my attention.

I’m not writing humor right now. Life is not a piece of cake.  Life is a major sorcery (okay, now I sound emo).


Sorry, I don’t engage in bullshit

There was a teenage girl, who used to sit at her desk with a pile of books and write down her ideas in a notebook. She used to stay lost in her thoughts. She was very sensitive and reserved. She didn’t really engage in conversation.

That’s the kind of image people have of me. That’s not the real me. People who have read my posts know this. My mom, the career counselor who visited my school, two of my best cousins and my whole clique know this. Unfortunately, my mom is the only family member who knows ‘the real’ me. My family (gonna get bashed on Facebook by relatives, again!)is supposed to know me like at the back of their hands. But, sadly, they know nothing about me. They only know my name, when and where I was born and that I’m fat (they say chubby…but come on, for once, be honest. I know I’m fat and cooler than that anorexic cousin who never had a growth spurt).
Okay, I do study and read. But, what’s wrong being clever? Plus, clever people are extroverted.
They say I don’t engage in conversation with them. Sorry, I talk only necessary things. I don’t talk bullshit or engage in bullshit conversations. I love to talk sense. And, I don’t take bullshit.

So, I’m not reserved. You, just have to start conversations that make sense.

It’s time, you wake up. Then, you say I’m immature when I share my opinion. You bash me on Facebook. Sorry, I ain’t getting scared. I stand strongly by my opinion, no matter how unpopular amongst you it is.