The Year That Wasn’t-What Could Have Happened For Good But Didn’t

Since I am a teenager, I will only talk about teenagers in this case. Also, I’m from India. Since, India is a third world country. Here, we’ll be dealing with problems that teenagers from the third world face.

  • It’s about time our education system got its shit back together. And, that is, whether or not to detain students. If you’re from the US, let me tell you that here kids aren’t given probation or anything. I think CBSE (Google it) is hoodwinking us. They said they’re making things easier for us. But, every time they change something, teachers become more and more vicious.
  • Teachers get their shit back together. Teachers do everything at the last moment. And, they can be so disorganized. This only makes them look barbaric. I’m sorry. extra classes in this windy winter sucks. Thank goodness, we don’t have blizzards here. Teachers here don’t say “all the best” before the exams. Instead, they say “You can’t do it” or “it’s gonna be very difficult”. Basically, they discourage us, instead of encouraging us.
  • Teenagers are also disorganized. Pulling all-nighters and cramming stuff only ruins your schedule. Get organized. I get it. Teachers can be disorganized, vicious and barbaric (that’s so Indian!). But, you can manage your time.
  • School sucks.
  • Life sucks.
  • Relationships suck.
  • 70 per cent of Indian teenagers commit suicide because exam pressure.

 

Now, let’s talk about what could have happened for good.

  • CBSE gave up CCE (Google it) system. Banned teachers from giving students stupid assignments instead. Schools now have a probation period for kids who don’t do well.
  • Teachers don’t spread negativity anymore, and are more organized.
  • Teenagers are more organized, and don’t fall into depression.
  • School is fun.
  • Life is awesome.
  • Relationships….. I dunno.
  • Indian parents and teachers start taking depression seriously, because kids who commit suicide, don’t die because they killed themselves, but because you didn’t listen to them. So, you can do the math hereon.

 

2015 could have been game-changer for many of the third world teenagers. If you’re an Indian teenager reading this, you need to give yourself a lot credit for all the third world problems you faced, and have been facing.

 

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The Time I Would Like To Trend (Will this blog help me?)

I’ve got this new desire. I want to trend. I want to be famous. I don’t want to be famous for being famous. But, I want to go viral, because of this blog, or a very song cover that I might have made.

Will the readers of this blog post help me in doing so?

If I become famous, what will I get? Money? Recognition? More respect?

I want to trend like Gu Hye-sun trended as an ulzzang on the internet. I don’t want to trend as an ulzzang, but I want to trend because of this blog or my fanfiction, because, hell yeah, I take writing pretty seriously, whether it’s angst or humor.

I’m a teenager. I can’t help it. I want to go viral, because I’m awesome. I want to become rich. I want the Korean entertainment to recognize me as the next big comedian or idol in Korea, although I’m Indian. I want to be the first Indian to do so. I want to be trailblazer.

I want to go to Germany or Japan. I’m tired of trending amongst my fellow German students (I was probably the most annoying teacher’s pet, but, hell yeah, she was a great teacher).

What’s stopping me from getting what I want? CBSE (Central Board of Secondary Education, if you don’t know) exams, family, and that weird Hindi word for all sorts of emotional trap, and all sorts of bullshit. If I trend, my school will have a better reputation. Our family income will increase. My parents will be so proud.

I’m awesome.

Anyways, I know this whole post is a joke. Like a big joke. But, I really got this desire. I’m like that every teenager who wants to trend. The only difference is that, I want to trend through fair means. I have good intentions. I want to make people laugh. I feel happy when my friends and parents laugh at my jokes. It’s the best feeling. I want to start a YouTube channel with my best friend.

If I trend today or tomorrow through this blog, it’ll be great. I started this blog last year around June, because I was angry. I’ve come a long way. I don’t have million readers, but it’s fine, since I met people who agree with me, who accept me as I am.

 

Today, I’m a 15-year-old teenager gearing up for three months of workload and studies and school bullshit.

In the end, I would like to thank those people who will read this post. I want to trend, because I’m unique, and you’ll definitely won’t find any other Ironically Misunderstood.

P.S- How many times did I use the phrase “I want”?

How do you think in a particular language?

My German teachers say that before speaking or writing German, one must think in German. As far as I have observed my mind, I normally think in English. So, before speaking or writing German or Japanese, I might think in German or Japanese without realizing it. I think it’s better tht way, because if I realize it, then I’ll start thinking in English again. Then, I’ll have to translate the whole thing in German and this process will take ages….. But, even so, how do you tell your brain to think in a particular language? I totally agree with the fact that one must think in a certain language before speaking that language, but how does the brain think in a particular language without the person noticing it?

Writing Under The Influence (Happy Birthday, Donghae of Super Junior!)

So, today, I told my friend that I can never really have best friends. I left one in Dubai to shift to India and another left me last year because she “got sick of me.” Since, then I created a personal space for myself. I am myself’s best friend now. The way I see things might be disturbing, funny or sad to many but this who I am.

So, tomorrow is my birthday. I’m not excited or anything because nothing exciting has ever happened. I don’t have the spirit. On 16th October 2000, just another kid was born to increase India’s population and become a hideous pimple in her paternal family history who was saved by her maternal grandparents. Birthdays in my family are not actually for the Birthday Girl or Boy, it’s for the family members who come for every corner and nook of East Delhi. Sometimes, even the Birthday Girl doesn’t know who her parents are inviting. I get invited to the party and what I see is the East Delhi version of My Sweet Sixteen and it’s even more disturbing when I realize that my parents are also contributing to the crap. And then, I contrite when I return to my place trying to figure out why I went to the party. I don’t get these people, sometimes….I mean, all the time.

If I ever get shot on the street and the bullet goes right into my heart, blood will spray from my artery and then, my uncles, aunts and cousins will be like, “Wow! That’s cool! How do you do that?” and my grandparents will stare into space and say, “Is something going on over here?”. Then, they’ll call up their relatives from every corner and nook of East Delhi and Dhaka and say, “Hey, guys! Watch my granddaughter spray blood from her artery! What an exceptional talent!” My parents will be the only ones concerned and then, they’ll be like, “We’re done with this family!”

Anyway, I like setting my self apart (or “cutting off” in layman’s language). I hope I will be remembered as a hideous pimple in the butt of the family (“trailblazer” in sophisticated language) because then I’ll be really honored.

By the way, happy birthday to Donghae Oppa (idiot bias-wrecker!) of Super Junior!

Urgent Post-The Weirdest Dream Ever

So, today at 2 PM in the afternoon, I fell asleep on my bed. I had the weirdest dream ever…. I was sleeping in my friend’s bedroom. Well, I guess it was my friend’s place. I was sleeping in peace when I felt like someone’s choking me with a pillow. I couldn’t breathe. It seemed so real. Somehow, I managed to wake up and stormed out of the room. I went to the living room and said hi to her sister. Then, my friend (the one who is Key in our kpop roleplay) smiled at me and offered some sweets to me. I told her I had no appetite but she smiled fed me some. The sweets had either sleeping pills or drugs because I passed out soon after.

When I woke up, I struggled to breathe and suffered from a pain that reached my head right from my neck. It seemed as if I really was choked by someone. But then again, I was on my bed. I had been acting weird with my Key lately. I don’t know if she was the one trying to choke me in my sleep. Key, if you’re reading my blog, let’s take it easy. After what this nightmare, I will never ever be clingy to you again. Not that I’m feeling threatened by you……ummm….oh crap.

I wonder how many times I have used the words “crap” and “outgrown” since yesterday. Although, that has nothing to do with this nightmare whatsoever.

A Detailed Study of Ulzzangs, and Lookalikes

Last year, in December, my friend told me about how many ulzzangs (extremely good-looking people) can kpop lookalikes can be stalked online. She told me about a half- Japanese half-Filipino guy who looked like Kiseop of U-Kiss. I guess, he’s famous, so I can use his name-Koji Takahashi.

I discovered many things about lookalikes and how “extremely beautiful” they are. My friend liked Koji. The whole thing spread like a wildfire. I got to know his friend, and a few other lookalikes. Miji, the T-ARA Boram lookalike, made a major impression on me and we share the same birthday, despite that she is four years older than me. I even got to know more about a guy who turned out to be a lookalike of EXO’s Chen (not gonna say much about him). I became friends with their friends. All of them are Filipino. I can understand Tagalog so befriending them is easy. I became friends with a butt-load of dance cover artistes and ulzzangs. I sat in India but got all the kpop event news happening in Phillipines! XDD I learnt about kpop lookalikes and ulzzangs.

PH Lookalike of IU
PH Lookalike of IU

Now, let me move to the real deal- ulzzangs as a whole. I got to know about many Korean, Filipino and Malaysian ulzzangs through Tumblr and Facebook. They model and are good-looking and the create the waterworks and “selca/selfie-bombs” online because they know they are good-looking and are worth looking at. I remember chatting with Miji. I know she is pretty and totally admire her for her looks and did tell her that she’s pretty but she kept denying it and it kept me thinking, “You are an ulzzang. You were sent on the face of Earth to look awesome, young lady!!” These people, ulzzangs, know that they are pretty and worth falling for but they try to show how humble and modest they are and we know that they are lying. I accidentally sent a picture of mine. She said that I looked ulzzang. I was like, “This is the second biggest lie you told me, girl! I am not an ulzzang! Haven’t you seen me?! Are you blind?!” I don’t underestimate myself but I know how I look. If you have seen me in person, you know I’m not ulzzang.

Well, ulzzangs come in a variety of packages. I have met the sugarcoated ones, the awesome ones, the bipolar ones and the insecure ones. I even liked a kpop lookalike (Chen lookalike), he started dating another lookalike (WTH!). I was quite okay with it but I haven’t heard about the couple for a while.

People think it’s good to be a lookalike of a good-looking celebrity but I think it’s stupid because what’s so good about looking exactly like that person? You are treated like a clone. For example, a Kpopper might say, “I want to date this kpop lookalike because he looks like my bias.” Some of the lookalikes even imitate the idol they look like. I guess, one is ulzzang when he or she is original and doesn’t look identical to a famous and good-looking person.

My Head Just Exploded….Can You See The Pieces Flying? Part 1-Annoying People

I don’t really care about critics but one of the readers told me that my blogs are impractical. I felt really conscious but the whole idea of this blog is to be practical. So, I re-read all my posts and asked my mother (my best adviser) what she thought. She said that I was practical like always. I guess, being practical has become the most impractical thing now because human beings want to live in a dreamy wonderland where everything is like cotton candy and life is just a piece of cake. Long story short, we want to live in delusion. Being a hypocrite, living in delusion and being diplomatic has become practical in life.

Anyway, that’s not this post’s about….. I’m going to rant about the most annoying people I’ve met.

I was “Dork Diaries” by Rachel Renee Russell. In one of her diary entries, Nikki says “Why does all the good things happen to evil people or people who don’t deserve it?” That’s somewhat true. There might be this one person who is praised for every crap thing he or she does. For example, if that person finishes her homework on the last minute, her parents are like, “Oh My God! You are so sincere!” Is there anything sincere about finishing your duty at the last moment? I don’t think so! Compliments should be saved for people who really deserve it.

“Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.”-Chris Gardner from The Pursuit Of Happyness

Now, I’ll talk about “Self-esteem Wreckers.” These people try their best to wreck your self-esteem and offend you in every possible way. For example,a this person says “I’ll go to Mumbai and become a Bollywood star!” And then I say “I want to go to Korea and become a K-idol!” She’ll be like ” What will an Indian do in Korea? Don’t do it! It’s hopeless!” And I’m like, “What’s a Delhiite going to do in Mumbai?” I have been trying my luck in k-entertainment and I have realized that you have to go through a butt-load of rejections. I have gone through a lot rejections. Then, to put fuel to the fire my relatives, sarcastically, say, “Did you finally become a Kpop star?” I mean, if I try to get in to Bollywood, do crap roles in crap movies, that’s okay and is I try to prove how talented people in East Asia are, I’m an idiot or “chinki” (overly Indian racist word). 

Who are the most annoying people you’ve met? You can tell me.

 

How I Discovered Observational Humour

So, long time no see!!!!

On Thursday, 26 June (a very important date!!!), I went to watch a movie with my parents. It was a Bollywood movie. FYI, I don’t think I can ever learn anything from Bollywood.

Now there is this quality about me….I can take any reason to laugh in the most saddest moments I come across.

So, I was watching the movie. FYI, the movie was titled “Holiday: A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” What I found ironical was the title of the movie-the title is “Holiday” and the sub-title is “A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” LOL!!! So I won’t mention the “Lead” Actress’ name because then it would be like bashing. DUH!! This what I felt about the movie!! This actress has done like 10 movies  since her debut in 2010. Now, does that make sense? She thinks she is the lead but she gets a supporting role. I mean, the lead guy is getting beaten up and she’s just looking at the spiteful sight and nodding her head saying “I know, you’re getting beaten up, mate.” LOL! According to me, you’re not a SUCCESSFUL actress or actor unless you get a good role where you can camouflage yourself. I’m not an anti-fan , I’m just straightforward critic. I don’t give a damn how you take what I write in my blogs. This is my rant blog. I have the solemn right to rant!!!

BTW, back to the movie. I don’t understand why the songs are just pop out from a Bollywood movie like some hideous pimple! The songs were good but they just kept popping and wasting everyone’s time. Th pre-climax fight scene was very serious and damn long but something made me gag. I just laughed it off! My father stared at me in astonishment. He must have thought his daughter has turned into a retard. I get it now…..it was the overly CG-fied fake action. The actor fixed his fractured bones in a jiffy!!! If I were there I wouldn’t have broken any of my bones… I’m double jointed, after all!!!! LOL! I kept laughing till the actual climax of the movie! My Father kept thinking what the hell I was laughing about. Then, I told him that I “observed” what I saw.

I’m telling you, make me watch any sad movie, I’ll still laugh!

I think I am a retard!!!