Roast Yourself Challenge

I watched a video, wherein Ryan Higa roasted himself. Today, I’m taking this opportunity to do that. I’m too narcissistic. I need this.

I’m such an angsty kid. Oh, and I’m so fat, like why? I’m so sarcastic, people don’t even take compliments from me. I hate to be given advice. I don’t appreciate anything, and I look like I’m giving up on life. I’m so realistic,  that it’s almost like pessimism.  For me, life is a major sorcery. I take rejections all the time. I believe that everything is about me. I’m a stuck-up kid. Oh, and I’m not some very pretty-looking person. My voice is so high-pitched and flat, that I sound like an eleven year old kid,  when I’m going to turn 16. I’m so narcissistic, as if I achieved something great in life.

Now, I challenge you to roast yourself, because we diss so many people everyday. We often forget how many flaws we have. Roasting yourself is as important as praising yourself. If you have superiority complex, you need this. Also, you must know where you stand.

I challenge the following people:
1.Nudge Wink Report
2.Shonessa
3.Abby Has Issues
4.The Annual

And those of you, who are reading,  join the party!

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Let us free

According to a survey held by ActionAid UK, 79 percent of women have faced some public harassment in India. The stats are kind of shocking. This might include my mother, my aunts, my cousins, and me. Hell yeah, all the women in my family.

Due to this, women are being caged under the garb of safety. Why are women trapped, when they are the ones getting violated? Every citizen has the Freedom of Movement, yet women are told not to go to certain places. Don’t go there. Don’t wear this. Don’t go out after 8. Now tell me. Why does a woman of 25 need a curfew? She needs to be independent at this age. She’s not a teenager anymore. Unknown men? Well, according to a research,  82 percent of women are raped by men they know.

Also, I think, everybody deserves protection-both men and women.  Yet, “protection” is always used for women. When a young boy cries out “rape”, nobody cares. Why? Because he’s not a girl. I watched a touching Buzzfeed video about the traumas of a male rape victim, who found his captor on Facebook. Men are human beings too. Everybody, regardless of gender, needs to learn to be humane.

Because Peeing is a Crime

So, yesterday, I was in a terrible mood. I felt irritable and angry. Probably, because I was suffering from PMS.
It was the third period, which was Value Education class, wherein your teacher talks sense or throws the “Moral Bomb” at us and make us feel like we’re impure. I had been controlling my urge to pee. I tried to ask my teacher, but she told me to get in. That was in the beginning. Then, she started talking about time management, and things that are important and urgent. And, that’s when, I felt like I was about to have a bladder explosion. So, I went and asked her permission to go to the washroom. I thought she’ll understand, since she also teaches us Biology. But, she said no! I had to go at ANY COST, so I said that it was urgent and that I was about to have a bladder explosion. Guess what? She told me to go and not come back for the rest of the period. I went, because I had to pee. When I was done, I tried to go back to class, but she kicked me out again told me reflect on what I heard.
I stood there alone in the corridor. I started crying, because I was so done with everything. I went to the lavatory again, locked myself in a cozy cubicle and cried to my heart’s content. I got kicked out, because I wanted to pee. Plus, those kids looked at me as if I killed someone. Nobody stood up for me, because they feared her. So, I knew I had to stand up for myself.
I remember telling that teacher that I respected her, but never feared her, when she asked if I was scared of her. It’s like she holds a grudge against me. I haven’t created problems, so why should I fear anyone?

The teachers here in my school, like to show off their power. They want to suppress everyone. They want the students to fear them and agree with all the bullshit they say. I’m not one of them, and I’m not going to change.

Also, everyone there in class get some pleasure in messing with me. It’s like their hobby.

Today, we had a half-working day at school. I didn’t go. Today’s a Saturday. I deserve a nice weekend. Plus, we had a cleanliness drive. The teachers would order the students to clean up their offices, and we would slave for them, because that’s what happens in Indian schools. I didn’t want to clean that woman’s desk.
That teacher and those students had the audacity to mess with the Ironically Misunderstood.

The Time I Would Like To Trend (Will this blog help me?)

I’ve got this new desire. I want to trend. I want to be famous. I don’t want to be famous for being famous. But, I want to go viral, because of this blog, or a very song cover that I might have made.

Will the readers of this blog post help me in doing so?

If I become famous, what will I get? Money? Recognition? More respect?

I want to trend like Gu Hye-sun trended as an ulzzang on the internet. I don’t want to trend as an ulzzang, but I want to trend because of this blog or my fanfiction, because, hell yeah, I take writing pretty seriously, whether it’s angst or humor.

I’m a teenager. I can’t help it. I want to go viral, because I’m awesome. I want to become rich. I want the Korean entertainment to recognize me as the next big comedian or idol in Korea, although I’m Indian. I want to be the first Indian to do so. I want to be trailblazer.

I want to go to Germany or Japan. I’m tired of trending amongst my fellow German students (I was probably the most annoying teacher’s pet, but, hell yeah, she was a great teacher).

What’s stopping me from getting what I want? CBSE (Central Board of Secondary Education, if you don’t know) exams, family, and that weird Hindi word for all sorts of emotional trap, and all sorts of bullshit. If I trend, my school will have a better reputation. Our family income will increase. My parents will be so proud.

I’m awesome.

Anyways, I know this whole post is a joke. Like a big joke. But, I really got this desire. I’m like that every teenager who wants to trend. The only difference is that, I want to trend through fair means. I have good intentions. I want to make people laugh. I feel happy when my friends and parents laugh at my jokes. It’s the best feeling. I want to start a YouTube channel with my best friend.

If I trend today or tomorrow through this blog, it’ll be great. I started this blog last year around June, because I was angry. I’ve come a long way. I don’t have million readers, but it’s fine, since I met people who agree with me, who accept me as I am.

 

Today, I’m a 15-year-old teenager gearing up for three months of workload and studies and school bullshit.

In the end, I would like to thank those people who will read this post. I want to trend, because I’m unique, and you’ll definitely won’t find any other Ironically Misunderstood.

P.S- How many times did I use the phrase “I want”?

Sorry, I don’t engage in bullshit

There was a teenage girl, who used to sit at her desk with a pile of books and write down her ideas in a notebook. She used to stay lost in her thoughts. She was very sensitive and reserved. She didn’t really engage in conversation.

That’s the kind of image people have of me. That’s not the real me. People who have read my posts know this. My mom, the career counselor who visited my school, two of my best cousins and my whole clique know this. Unfortunately, my mom is the only family member who knows ‘the real’ me. My family (gonna get bashed on Facebook by relatives, again!)is supposed to know me like at the back of their hands. But, sadly, they know nothing about me. They only know my name, when and where I was born and that I’m fat (they say chubby…but come on, for once, be honest. I know I’m fat and cooler than that anorexic cousin who never had a growth spurt).
Okay, I do study and read. But, what’s wrong being clever? Plus, clever people are extroverted.
They say I don’t engage in conversation with them. Sorry, I talk only necessary things. I don’t talk bullshit or engage in bullshit conversations. I love to talk sense. And, I don’t take bullshit.

So, I’m not reserved. You, just have to start conversations that make sense.

It’s time, you wake up. Then, you say I’m immature when I share my opinion. You bash me on Facebook. Sorry, I ain’t getting scared. I stand strongly by my opinion, no matter how unpopular amongst you it is.

When I Am Tired Of People

I don’t hate people. In fact, I am very sociable and have lots of friends. But looking at the amount of kids in our school, I do get annoyed with people. There are 5,000 kids in our schools. Our school is more populated than a small island in Europe! Whether they’re kids or teachers, I have to bump into everyone. I just get tired of so many people causing so much ‘traffic.’
There are some people whom I just don’t want to start a conversation with during my ‘alone time’ and when they start talking, I want to tell them to speak when spoken to. When many people interrupt my ‘alone time’, I can just blow up. And then, they’ll say that I’m hateful, angry and antisocial.
I listen to a hundred different people with different voices, every single day. And 80 percent have to give me advice I didn’t ask for. I do listen to people. But sometimes, I lose my cool.

Thinking Out Loud (not the Ed Sheeran song)

Looks can be deceptive. In my case, it’s true. People say that my face yells how bored and uninterested I am in life and that I just prefer to blend in he background. They think I am a person who doesn’t express her opinion out loud. I am a person who stands out. They take my kindness for weakness.
I remember a relative asking me, “You speak up?” Sadly, it was a relative whom I had been visiting since I was a single cell. This proves that she doesn’t have a clue about me. Do I care? No. One of my previous blog posts, I expressed most of my unpopular opinions and it was shared on Facebook. As usual, I got into trouble because of that. I was deemed as ‘hateful’ by most who say that they love me. Now they know how blunt I can be. This is going to be on Facebook and it’s going to happen again. If being blunt is hateful, I am hateful.

How I Discovered Observational Humour

So, long time no see!!!!

On Thursday, 26 June (a very important date!!!), I went to watch a movie with my parents. It was a Bollywood movie. FYI, I don’t think I can ever learn anything from Bollywood.

Now there is this quality about me….I can take any reason to laugh in the most saddest moments I come across.

So, I was watching the movie. FYI, the movie was titled “Holiday: A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” What I found ironical was the title of the movie-the title is “Holiday” and the sub-title is “A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” LOL!!! So I won’t mention the “Lead” Actress’ name because then it would be like bashing. DUH!! This what I felt about the movie!! This actress has done like 10 movies  since her debut in 2010. Now, does that make sense? She thinks she is the lead but she gets a supporting role. I mean, the lead guy is getting beaten up and she’s just looking at the spiteful sight and nodding her head saying “I know, you’re getting beaten up, mate.” LOL! According to me, you’re not a SUCCESSFUL actress or actor unless you get a good role where you can camouflage yourself. I’m not an anti-fan , I’m just straightforward critic. I don’t give a damn how you take what I write in my blogs. This is my rant blog. I have the solemn right to rant!!!

BTW, back to the movie. I don’t understand why the songs are just pop out from a Bollywood movie like some hideous pimple! The songs were good but they just kept popping and wasting everyone’s time. Th pre-climax fight scene was very serious and damn long but something made me gag. I just laughed it off! My father stared at me in astonishment. He must have thought his daughter has turned into a retard. I get it now…..it was the overly CG-fied fake action. The actor fixed his fractured bones in a jiffy!!! If I were there I wouldn’t have broken any of my bones… I’m double jointed, after all!!!! LOL! I kept laughing till the actual climax of the movie! My Father kept thinking what the hell I was laughing about. Then, I told him that I “observed” what I saw.

I’m telling you, make me watch any sad movie, I’ll still laugh!

I think I am a retard!!!