Writing Under The Influence (Happy Birthday, Donghae of Super Junior!)

So, today, I told my friend that I can never really have best friends. I left one in Dubai to shift to India and another left me last year because she “got sick of me.” Since, then I created a personal space for myself. I am myself’s best friend now. The way I see things might be disturbing, funny or sad to many but this who I am.

So, tomorrow is my birthday. I’m not excited or anything because nothing exciting has ever happened. I don’t have the spirit. On 16th October 2000, just another kid was born to increase India’s population and become a hideous pimple in her paternal family history who was saved by her maternal grandparents. Birthdays in my family are not actually for the Birthday Girl or Boy, it’s for the family members who come for every corner and nook of East Delhi. Sometimes, even the Birthday Girl doesn’t know who her parents are inviting. I get invited to the party and what I see is the East Delhi version of My Sweet Sixteen and it’s even more disturbing when I realize that my parents are also contributing to the crap. And then, I contrite when I return to my place trying to figure out why I went to the party. I don’t get these people, sometimes….I mean, all the time.

If I ever get shot on the street and the bullet goes right into my heart, blood will spray from my artery and then, my uncles, aunts and cousins will be like, “Wow! That’s cool! How do you do that?” and my grandparents will stare into space and say, “Is something going on over here?”. Then, they’ll call up their relatives from every corner and nook of East Delhi and Dhaka and say, “Hey, guys! Watch my granddaughter spray blood from her artery! What an exceptional talent!” My parents will be the only ones concerned and then, they’ll be like, “We’re done with this family!”

Anyway, I like setting my self apart (or “cutting off” in layman’s language). I hope I will be remembered as a hideous pimple in the butt of the family (“trailblazer” in sophisticated language) because then I’ll be really honored.

By the way, happy birthday to Donghae Oppa (idiot bias-wrecker!) of Super Junior!


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