An Important Lesson I Learnt Today

Do you really want something or are expecting something to happen? Just don’t think about it. I say, just forget about it. What the hell am I saying?

Today, during English class, I read something really practical in “Three Men In A Boat” by Jerome K. Jerome. He says that when you put up a kettle to boil your tea and keep thinking about it and waiting eagerly for its whistle, you will not be able to hear the whistle. BUT if you just don’t think about it, it will make such a noise as if it wants to tell you that the tea has been prepared on its own. That sort of applies to real life. Expect the unexpected. As actress Alia Bhatt once said on a variety show that she got really pissed off in the day before the first day of shooting for her debut film, but, eventually, the movie became a success and that was something really unexpected. Yet, if you’re expecting something to happen VERY eagerly and are excited, how can you not think about it? A few months ago, I tried to order a manga from Flipkart. I love manga and was eagerly waiting for the book. Four weeks passed and they said that it was out of stock. You get it, now?

In December, last year, I made a decision to audition for a Korean entertainment agency. I was infuriated by SM Entertainment’s strict laws and how they’re known not to respect Indians. SM holds “Global” auditions every year in USA, China, Japan, Korea (obviously), Thailand and Canada. That’s not exactly global, is it? I sent them an angry e-mail, telling them that they should hold auditions in Delhi. I sent this email on 21st December 2013:

“Dear Audition Manager,
K-Poppers are not at all new in India, especially, in the capital, Delhi and the North East Region. There are so many talented Indian hopefuls in India who want to join SM and have a good base of English, Japanese, Korean or Chinese. I, too, am auditioning via mail. I know SM encourages people all around the world to challenge for their dream and gives a chance to all the talented people. As an Indian, I am requesting you to have a Live Audition in New Delhi, India. I guarantee that you will find great talents in our country.
Yours Sincerely,
Sera Ria Gomes”
A few days later, I totally forgot about the e-mail….till, they sent me a reply eight hours ago. Just EIGHT HOURS ago.
“Hi, this is SM audition manager.

first of all you need to apply for audition via e-mail 
you need send a mail with titles, which include your name/age/gender/ category
attach your video file(dancing), music file(singing) and face-shots without any photoshop done.
thank you.”
What a dumb and late reply! What’s wrong with these people? They named their new girl group “Red Velvet”! LOL! I wasn’t expecting any reply, anyway, by the way.
Anyway, on Friday the 26th, I auditioned for Asian Sing Korean Soul Audition in Moti Bagh. The judge was none other than Don Spike, the guy behind EXO and Kim Bum Soo’s albums. I totally made an arse out of myself. My legs were shivering and my throat dried up just before singing. But, I completed the song. Great, totally great!!! The person who passes this audition, goes to Korea and records an album with Don Spike. I got a message a few days after the audition day, they told me that the selected person will be informed privately. Well, let’s say, it’s NOT me. As, I made an arse out of myself. Whatever the result is, I don’t care. I’m thirteen and a half and I have a butt-load of chances. 
I’m just ignoring the audition thing for a while. I don’t think I’ll be selected. Pissing yourself in front of a famous Korean producer is not good.

In My Shoes: Teenage Life Is Not At All Complicated

This blog is not only a blog, its a chunk of random prose that I made from the top of my head. I know I keep ranting and ranting. This post is more of a sketch. I am writing this to give more insight to what it’s like to be in my shoes. I would first like to ask a few questions:are you free? Why are you reading this if you have some work? What’s so good about being in my shoes?

I am just a normal teenager, with a monkey brain. I’m just a retard! I have a lot of options. I am young, talented and ready to face the reality.

I was reading my school magazine’s teen section “Veering Vogues.” I came across my friend’s article. She had written about complex the teenage species is. I agree, teenage species is indeed complex. As a teenager, you have no idea who you are, what your true identity is or what you want from life. Long story short, the teenage species is more of a confused species. I have heard many of my schoolmates say how sorrowful or how complicated teenage life is. Ultimately, a question come to my mind-who can make a teenager’s life complicated? I mean, your life has just started! Many of my teenage friends on Facebook update their statuses as “I want to kill myself!” or “To hell with life!” They say they’re regretting for what might have happened. At one point of my life, teenage life, indeed, is complicated with the kinds of comments or rants I heard from my schoolmates. I, finally, got an answer to my question- it’s primarily us who make our lives complicated. There might have been some sort of serious abuse that a teenager might have faced in life and might have her in complete alienation. But, when it comes to normal teenagers who haven’t faced situations like that, saying teenage life is complicated doesn’t count. Right now, I’m just writing about those teenagers who just think their life is complicated and don’t move their butts to come out of their shell. I once, remember, my Biology teacher saying that posting pics on Facebook is not always going to make big impression in your life because people just don’t give a damn about what you’re doing unless you’re some famous personality. Teenage girls just sympathize themselves and wear oh-what-a-wicked-world expression while talking about themselves. They get into multiple relationships and rant about what’s going on in their personal lives as if we care.

Peer pressure-something I don’t get affected by. The more you let peer pressure take over you, the more you get affected by it. The most common peer pressure in my school is to have boyfriends. With the quality of conversation girls in relationships have at school make me think that being single is much better. You can’t break up with yourself, can you? You have less responsibility and less emotional attachments. Getting into a relationships is just adding up responsibility. And then again, Indian boys are just cross-bred scums. That’s why I think shows like “The Secret Life Of An American Teenager” or “Awkward” are just crap.

Teenage confession Facebook pages-“confession” means “ranting” for overly emotional cowards. At a general assembly at school, our school principal said that she thought that our school confession page is useless. People who “confess” just sympathize with themselves and are just thinking that they’re being victimized all the time. That’s why “ranting” is better!

They way I see it, teenagers should stop “confessing” and thinking how wicked this world is. This world is wicked that’s the bitter reality! If you want to change it, better move your butt and stop sympathizing with yourself because that’s something cowards do.



Wie ich entdeckte Beobachtungs Humor


Am Donnerstag, 26. Juni (ein sehr wichtiges Datum !!!), gehe ich, um einen Film mit meinen Eltern zu beobachten. Es war ein Bollywood-Film. FYI, glaube ich nicht, ich kann überhaupt nichts aus Bollywood zu lernen.

Jetzt gibt es diese Qualität über mich … Ich kann keinen Grund, in den traurigsten Momente, die ich stoßen lachen zu nehmen.

Also, ich war den Film. FYI, wurde der Film mit dem Titel “Holiday: Ein Soldat ist niemals Pflicht.” Was ich fand, war der ironische Titel des Films-Titel ist “Holiday” und der Untertitel ist LOL “Ein Soldat ist niemals Pflicht.” !!! Also werde ich den “Lead” Schauspielerin “Namen nicht erwähnen, weil dann wäre es wie Bashing sein. DUH !! Das, was ich fühlte über den Film !! Diese Schauspielerin hat wie 10 Filme seit ihrem Debüt im Jahr 2010 nun getan, macht das Sinn? Sie denkt, sie ist die Führung, doch sie eine tragende Rolle bekommt. Ich meine, das Blei Kerl wird immer geschlagen und sie ist gerade auf der Suche an der gehässigen Blick und nickte mit dem Kopf sagen: “Ich weiß, du bist immer verprügelt, Kumpel.” LOL! Nach mir, du bist nicht eine erfolgreiche Schauspielerin oder Schauspieler, wenn Sie eine gute Rolle, wo man sich tarnen zu bekommen. Ich bin kein Anti-Fan, ich bin nur einfach Kritiker. Ich gebe nicht einen Dreck, wie Sie nehmen, was ich schreibe in meinem Blogs. Das ist mein Rant Blog. Ich habe das Recht zu schimpfen feierlichen !!!

BTW, zurück zum Film. Ich verstehe nicht, warum die Songs kommen aus einem Bollywood-Film raus wie eine abscheuliche Pickel! Die Lieder waren gut, aber sie hielt gerade knallen und verschwenden die Zeit aller Beteiligten. Ten vor-Höhepunkt Kampfszene war sehr ernst und verdammt lang, aber etwas hat mich Gag. Ich lachte ihn nur aus! Mein Vater sah mich erstaunt an. Er muss gedacht haben, seine Tochter hat sich zu einer Verzögerung eingeschaltet. Ich bekomme es jetzt … war der übermäßig ,,CG-Fied” gefälschte Aktion. Der Schauspieler richtete seine gebrochenen Knochen im Handumdrehen !!! Wenn ich es wäre, würde ich nicht von meinem Bein gebrochen haben … Ich bin doppelt gebrochen, nachdem alle !!!! LOL! Ich hielt bis zum eigentlichen Höhepunkt des Films zu lachen! Mein Vater dachte, was zum Teufel ich über lachen. Dann habe ich ihm gesagt, dass ich “beobachtet”, was ich sah.

Ich sage Ihnen, machen mir keine traurigen Film zu sehen, ich werde immer noch lachen!

Ich glaube, ich bin ein Spät !!!

What’s Your Writing Routine?

A great read!


Do you have a routine for writing? A way of doing it which has become habit and which you know will get the best out of you? I was thinking about this having read a recent article on the subject.

Many famous writers seem to have these habits. I think the reason is that, to write a novel you need to get your backside on the chair and your fingers on the keyboard – regularly and for long periods of time, just to get the work done. I know only too well that novels don’t write themselves.

Murakami_Haruki_(2009)Here’s what the brilliant Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami had to say on the subject in an interview:

“When I’m in writing mode for a novel, I get up at four a.m. and work for five to six hours. In the afternoon, I run for ten kilometers or swim for fifteen hundred meters (or do…

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All-Girls Schools, What An Irony!

So, yesterday, I happen to eat my lunch before recess. It was the fourth period and I was totally oblivious. I’m not one of the gluttons who eat their lunch secretly before class. But I, mistakenly, thought it was recess because a lot was going on in school. We were celebrating the Feast of Our Lady Of Carmel(I study in an all-girl Catholic School). I had got the typical Indian vegetable and chapatti and was eating it while keeping my lunch under the desk. I kept stuffing every morsel in my mouth because I love beans! In fact, I even walked out of the class with my lunch. Thank goodness, it was a free period or I would have a reputation of a glutton. I always play safe, you see. I have reputation of a sincere and quiet student but in reality, I am sort of the opposite. So, I went back to my class and started stuffing my mouth with my lunch. Suddenly, two of the my most annoying classmates who used to be my friends before but I didn’t like there “layer” or whatever because they kept gossiping about boys, forcing me to get into a relationship and complaining about homosexual people. I hate homophobic and racist people! I mean, come on, everyone’s an individual! It was over between them and me but they just keep picking on me! This time they tried to see what I’m eating. Like, seriously, why do you give a damn about what I eat! Now, these devious girls also have a puppet in their hands. This puppet, is has allegedly been stalking me these days. My friends think she has a crush on me because one of my friends asked her why she has been stalking me and she blushed like hell! She has been acting like a sasaeng fan.

I seriously don’t understand my own schoolmates! A homophobic person CANNOT survive in my school. I’m not saying that we are all lesbians or something but it is not a great idea to let teenage girls with raging hormones to study together. When they love each other,they do it greatly. When they fight, they fight like wild cats and pull each other’s hair and whatnot! I mean, last year, when my “ex-friends” picked a fight with me, I fought with words and they kept threatening me saying that they will beat me up and blah blah…And I was like, “Yes, bring it on! I will scream so loud, you’ll get deaf!” Thereafter, they keep picking on me. I guess, they  just can’t forget about me! I’m telling you. I joined this school about four years ago in fifth grade. People in my school cab started boycotting me. Then, I graduated to middle school, that whole year boycotted me and I was like, “Yeah, boycott me! I don’t want to live here, anyway!” Last year was indeed a year of good change. I realized who my real friends are and learnt that you should never be best friends with a teenage girl who’s obsessed with boys. I mean, what so awesome about Indian boys, majority of them are like cross-bred scums.

I cannot stay in a place like Delhi, where people expect corrupting power and fake respect. I rant along with Japanese rock bands like SCANDAL, FLUMPOOL, STEREOPONY and One OK Rock. It makes me feel light.

Back to school! In the second and third floor lavatory of the high school building, there is a single extra-small mirror. Around that mirror, I see about ten girls trying to check themselves. LOL! Who are they trying to impress? Their bitchy girlfriends? I might not fit in this school but everything is so damn humorous! Then, during inter-school sport matches with boys. My classmates go extremely lunatic and act like sasaeng fans. Then, again Indian boys going through puberty are cross-bred scums!

I remember a very funny incident. I had write my final exams in seventh grade and I was sitting with eighth grade students (a complicated seating arrangement to stop students from cheating). Right behind me was sitting my awesome friend. Her bench-mate was an eighth grader and she kept ranting to God to help her and screaming, “Jai Mata Di!” loudly. My bench-mate and I were getting irritated. So, I looked at her and said, “HAVE YOU GONE MAD?”

She said, “Excuse me! I’m a senior here!”

I was like, “Yeah, I can see that, granny! Stop ranting during the exam!”

Since then, she tried her best to bully me throughout the year but I somehow, outdid her. I forgot to mention, she was the head-girl’s younger sister. Senior students should stop ragging junior students. Remember, junior students are much smarter than us. By ragging them, we are just wasting are time. It’s better to love them and befriend them before they fight back and piss you off.


Despite of all these complaints, I have met some interesting people and that’s what makes me feel that I love school!

How I Discovered Observational Humour

So, long time no see!!!!

On Thursday, 26 June (a very important date!!!), I went to watch a movie with my parents. It was a Bollywood movie. FYI, I don’t think I can ever learn anything from Bollywood.

Now there is this quality about me….I can take any reason to laugh in the most saddest moments I come across.

So, I was watching the movie. FYI, the movie was titled “Holiday: A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” What I found ironical was the title of the movie-the title is “Holiday” and the sub-title is “A Soldier Is Never Off Duty.” LOL!!! So I won’t mention the “Lead” Actress’ name because then it would be like bashing. DUH!! This what I felt about the movie!! This actress has done like 10 movies  since her debut in 2010. Now, does that make sense? She thinks she is the lead but she gets a supporting role. I mean, the lead guy is getting beaten up and she’s just looking at the spiteful sight and nodding her head saying “I know, you’re getting beaten up, mate.” LOL! According to me, you’re not a SUCCESSFUL actress or actor unless you get a good role where you can camouflage yourself. I’m not an anti-fan , I’m just straightforward critic. I don’t give a damn how you take what I write in my blogs. This is my rant blog. I have the solemn right to rant!!!

BTW, back to the movie. I don’t understand why the songs are just pop out from a Bollywood movie like some hideous pimple! The songs were good but they just kept popping and wasting everyone’s time. Th pre-climax fight scene was very serious and damn long but something made me gag. I just laughed it off! My father stared at me in astonishment. He must have thought his daughter has turned into a retard. I get it now… was the overly CG-fied fake action. The actor fixed his fractured bones in a jiffy!!! If I were there I wouldn’t have broken any of my bones… I’m double jointed, after all!!!! LOL! I kept laughing till the actual climax of the movie! My Father kept thinking what the hell I was laughing about. Then, I told him that I “observed” what I saw.

I’m telling you, make me watch any sad movie, I’ll still laugh!

I think I am a retard!!!